Friday, November 9, 2012

This Moment

Joining Amanda - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words a story - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.


Once upon a time there was a mama who had so much enjoy and be thankful for.  But she had a most unfortunate tendency toward feeling sorry for herself.  She tried to hold herself to impossible standards, forgetting that blogs and FaceBook are seriously selective accounts of other mamas' lives.  Rather than being pleased with what she can accomplish in a day and enjoying spending time with her wee children she felt guilty for not doing more.  She had dreams of doing it all, yesterday.  And she descended at times into hard core self pity that she couldn't even spend 20 minutes doing what she wanted followed by guilt for being so selfish as to take what little time she had to peruse online inspiration for projects she can't work on let alone accomplish and reading rather than washing those ever accumulating dishes.  She was tired and frustrated and something had to give. 

And the moral of the story?  Balance.  By all means, mama needs to take the time to wash her face before bed whenever possible.  And wash as many of the dinner dishes before bed as possible.  And yes, even knit and read as much as possible.  It's finding the good rather than dwelling on the not so hot.  Because, really girl, you have to stop hanging onto the things that are less than stellar and make you unhappy.  Find the joy in a clean sink and the fun in small children.  Change your perspective so that those small acts of naughtiness are problem solving.  Keep on plugging away on the 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life until you somehow get through all 21 days.  Practice gratitude.  Pray without ceasing.  Go outside.  Take the time to enjoy all those little moments of happiness - chocolate and a clean table, baby smiles and fresh bread, sunshine and dancing in the kitchen.  And take it easy, Rome wasn't built in a day and you don't have to be supermama. 

Would someone mind reminding me of that every 20 minutes or so?  ;-) 

12 comments:

Tracey said...

Oh my dear, I do remember feeling just like you do now.
I am going to tell you something I wish I had been told...
this is your one life, take each day and enjoy it. Don't compare because there isn't anyone else like you or your family. There are many seasons a woman, mom, wife, will go through. Right now you are in the busy season raising wee ones, but there will come a time when things will slow down and you will have more time on your hands than you know what to do with. Above all Kate, love yourself, we do!

steph said...

and 20 minutes later....let me also remind you....like Tracey, I remember those days fondly (while living them, though, I seem to remember them more like a Jackson Pollack painting)---but in the long run, no one will remember the days that the dishes don't get done---or the spills that don't get wiped up right away---or the laundry that piles up a bit more than we would like......hugs, baby games, walks, jumping in fall leaves---those are the memories we keep, so those are the memories we must be sure to make. You're so right----it's balance that's important, not perfection. And finding a minute or two every day for your knitting---while taking a deep breath--might help too!!!

Kristen said...

You're so right, Kate! I think we all tend to feel like we don't "measure up" every now and again. One of my favorite verses is from Psalm 13:6 - "I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me." It's a great reminder for me :)

Twisted Cinderella said...

This is too true!

http://tc-twistedfairytale.blogspot.ca/2012/11/this-moment-book-lover-in-training.html

karen said...

I was once there. I would choose dishes over rocking a child/baby. Now I look back and think geez, I could have relaxed a little. You are where you are supposed to be and it's okay to have a list and it's okay to not get everything done. I love your honesty, and the way you give yourself pep talks. If you're happy everyone is happy!!!

momto5 said...

you are so not alone in feeling like you just can't get it all together and somehow everyone else can (the thing is they can't either). many hugs. be kind to yourself and yes, remember that you can only do what you can do and there is NOTHING wrong with taking 20 minutes (or an hour or two) to do something for you.

Hannah White said...

Hear, hear! Bravo! Amen! and Thank you!

Amy said...

I think we all know what you are going through! The more time spent on the computer the less creative I feel. Love you for you! I hate housework and would rather knit all day, but I came to the realization that I'm happier when my bed is made and the kitchen is clean when I wake up in the morning. Not because it's what's expected of me. I do something for myself every afternoon to feel like me.
(If you ever come to my blog know I push everything to the side before I take the photo ;))

Kim Corrigan-Oliver said...

Hang in there mama, we have all been there, some of use are there with you right now. I think you hit the nail on the head with two things perspective - it is all how "you" look at things, and gratitude. Both of those things get me through my rough days. Hugs.

Dark Blue Dragon said...

Years form now, they will not remember the dishes in the sink, only you will. They will remember happiness and love and a mama who danced in the kitchen with them! hang in there.

YellowLadybird said...

I can relate... the guilt and the frustration. Thanks for posting. It's good to hear we are not alone!

kerri.warmus said...

Your post could have been written by me. I have those same thoughts, every day, day after day. And I wonder why I can't make it stick, why it is easier to focus on my complaints than how lucky I am. And I realize that it takes practice (perhaps a lifetime) to put gratitude first and to live in the moment. The more I live in the moment, the happier I am with my family and with myself. And the more I realize that the yoke is light when the yoke is love. When my yoke is heavy, I'm not living in love. Thank you for sharing.